It pains me every year that I no longer get to show my dad the appreciation he deserves on Father's Day. Worse yet, the last F's Day we had together...well, it was so long ago I don't remember it.
But just because he's gone doesn't mean I can't celebrate his life. Today I've been reflecting on how easy my dad made fatherhood look. I don't know how he did it because it sure is a difficult task to work, be a husband, son, friend, and father...all while keeping your cool the way he did all those years. Since becoming a dad myself, all I've wanted to do is model myself after him. Unfortunately, I seem to stumble so regularly I can't help but feel like a failure sometimes.
There are so many things I wish I could still talk to him about or ask him. Instead I do the next best thing and ask myself what he would say if he was here...if I could talk to him...How did you do all that you did and do it so easily?
I'm pretty sure of his answer. He'd tell me that it might have looked easy but that he had just as many difficulties as I did through it all. The key is to keep things in perspective when it all reaches a boiling point. In other words, what's most important at this very moment? Ten times out of ten it's going to come back to the love and compassion you have for your family. After all, you don't get married and have children so you can put them at the bottom of your list.
My father only made it to 63. These days he's part of my inspiration to leading a healthy lifestyle. In his honor, I'd like to be able to retire someday and not have to do it from a hospital bed like he did. On that day I hope to raise a glass his way and let him know that my retirement is his retirement...because he deserves it more than I do. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't be here today...and I mean that both literally and figuratively.
My dad might be gone, but I'm doing everything I can to help his spirit live on...through me.
Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there.
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